«یادم نمی‌آید دختر یا پسری را دیده باشم که بخاطر عقب انداختن رابطه‌جنسی پشیمان بوده باشند، اما دختر و پسرهای بسیار زیادی را دیدم که شدیداً بخاطر روابط‌جنسی خود پشیمان بودند. هیچکس جوانان را برای عواقب بعدی روابط‌جنسی آماده نمی‌کند: پایین آوردن اعتمادبه‌نفس، حس ناامیدکننده مورد سوءاستفاده قرار گرفتن، عذاب‌وجدان سوءاستفاده از دیگران، ناراحتی برای دروغ گفتن و پنهان‌کاری از خانواده، مشکل در ترک اعتیاد به رابطه‌جنسی، حس تنفر از خود بخاطر دنبال فردی دیگر گشتن به جای زنده کردن نفس خود بعد از هر بر هم خوردن رابطه. هیچکس به جوانان نمی‌گوید که حتی ممکن است سال‌ها طول بکشد تا از تاثیرات این تحربیات جنسی آزاد شوند.
10) با شخصیت دادن به خودتان، فردی با شخصیتی مشابه — کسی که دوست دارید با او ازدواج کنید و از او صاحب فرزند شوید — را به سمت خود خواهید کشاند.
1٫ R. A. Hatcher, J. Trussell, F. H. Stewart, et al. Contraceptive technology. 18th
Revised ed. (New York: Ardent Media, Inc., 2005).
2٫ S. Ahmed, T. Lutalo, M. Wawer, et al., “HIV incidence and
sexually transmitted disease prevalence associated with condom use: A
population study in Rakai, Uganda,” AIDS, 15 (16) 2001, 2171-2179.
3٫ National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Workshop Summary: Scientific Evidence on Condom
Effectiveness for Sexually
Transmitted Disease (STD)
Prevention. Bethesda, MD: National Institute of Allergy and Infectious
Diseases; 2001. Available from: http://www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/
stds/condomreport.pdf. Accessed: 2005 Jun 16.
4٫ R. L. Winer, J. P. Hughes, Q. Feng, et al., “Condom use and
the risk of genital human papillomavirus infection in young women,” New England Journal of Medicine, 354,
2006, 2645-2654.
5٫ Munoz N., “Human papillomavirus and cancer: the
epidemiological evidence,” Journal of
Clinical Virology, 2000, 19(1-2):1-5.National Institutes of Health , Scientific evidence on condom effectiveness for sexually
transmitted disease prevention, 2000٫ www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stds/condomreport.pdf
6٫ National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, With one voice: America’s adults and teens sound off
about teen pregnancy. (Washington, D.C., 2004).
7٫ A. Nicholi, “A new dimension of the youth culture,” The American Journal of Psychiatry, 131, 396-401.
8٫ J. DeLamater, “Gender differences in sexual scenarios.”
In K. Kelley (Ed.), Females, males,
and sexuality. (Albany, NY: State University of New York at Albany Press,
1987), 127-140٫
9٫ Bob Bartlett, “Going all the way,” Momentum (April/May, 1993), 36.
10٫ N. Glenn & E. Marquardt, Hooking
up, hanging out, and hoping for Mr. Right: College women on dating and mating
today. (New York: Institute for American Values, 2001).
11٫ George Eager, Love, dating, and
sex. (Valdosta, GA: Mailbox Club Books, 1989).
12٫ DeLamater. See also N. B. Moore & J. K. Davidson, “Guilt
about first intercourse,” Journal of Sex and
Marital Therapy, 23, 1997,
29-46٫
13٫ N.B. Moore & J.K. Davidson, “Guilt about first
intercourse: An antecedent of sexual dissatisfaction among college women. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 23, 29-46.
14٫ Eager.
15٫ L. Ali & J. Scelfo, “Choosing virginity,” Newsweek (December 9, 2002), 6.
16٫ K. Kiniorski, “The aftermath of abortion,” The American Feminist (Spring,
1998), 6-7٫
17٫ D. Reardon, Making abortion
rare. (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 1996).
18٫ S. A. Walders, “Mourning life lost to hasty decision,” The American Feminist (Spring,
1998), 9٫
19٫ See, for example, Project Rachel, www.marquette.edu/rachel.
20٫ National guidelines for
sexuality and character education. (Austin, TX: Medical
Institute for Sexual Health, 1996).
21٫ J. McDowell & D. Day, Why
wait. (San Bernadino, CA: Here’s Life Publishers, 1987).
22٫ T. Hoff, L. Greene, & J. Davis. National
survey of adolescents and young adults: Sexual health knowledge, attitudes, and
experiences. Kaiser Family Foundation, 2003. This survey found that one-third
of all teens — including three-quarters of
sexually active adolescents — said they had engaged in
oral sex. Two in five who had engaged in oral sex said that they did not
consider it to be as big a deal as intercourse.
23٫ A Jarrell, “The face of teenage sex grows younger,” The New York Times (April 2,
2000), B-1.
24٫ “Oral sex and STDs,” Sexual Health Update, www.medinstitute.org (Spring, 2003).
25٫ J. Kikuchi, ” Rhode Island develops successful intervention
program for adolescents,” National Coalition
Against Sexual Assault Newsletter (Fall 1988).
26٫ McDowell & Day.
27٫ National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, CASA national survey of American attitudes on substance
abuse: Teen dating and sexual activity, 2004. This survey
reported that 45% of teens now say they have friends who regularly view
pornography on the Internet.
28٫ S. Covey, The 7 habits of
highly effective teens. (New York: Fireside Books, 1998), 239.
29٫ Quoted in S. Covey, The 6 most
important decisions you’ll ever make. (Salt Lake City:
FranklinCovey Co., 2006), 208.
30٫ McDowell & Day.
31٫ M. W. Waller, et al., “Gender differences in association
between depressive symptoms and patterns of substance abuse and risky sexual
behavior among a nationally representative sample of U.S. adolescents,” Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 9, 139-150, 2006.
32٫ D. Hallfors, et al., “Which comes first in adolescence — sex
and drugs or depression?”, American Journal
of Preventive Medicine, 29,
163-170, 2005٫
33٫ Hardwired to connect. (New
York: Institute for American Values, 2003).
34٫ Kieran Sawyer, Sex and the
teenager. (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1990).
35٫ D. Orr, M. Beiter, & G. Ingersoll, “Premature sexual
activity as an indicator of psychosocial risk,” Pediatrics, 87, 141-147.
36٫ R. E. Rector, K. A. Johnson, & L. R. Noyes. “Sexually
active teenagers are more likely to be depressed and to commit suicide.” A report of the Heritage Center for data analysis
(CDA03-4), 2003.
37٫ McDowell & Day.
38٫ R. E. Rector, et al. “What do parents want in sex education
programs?” Backgrounder, No.
1722, 2004٫
39٫ Quoted in H. & M. Lewis, The
parents’ guide to teenage sex and pregnancy. (New York: St. Martin’s
Press, 1980).
40٫ McDowell & Day.
41٫ McDowell & Day.
42٫ M. Scarf, Intimate partners. (New
York: Ballantine, 1996).
43٫ A. DeMaris & W. MacDonald, “Premarital cohabitation and
marital instability,” Journal of
Marriage and the Family,55, 1993,
399-407٫ See also P. Smock, “Cohabitation in the United States,” Annual Review of Sociology, 26, 2000, 1-20.
44٫ J. Teachman, “Premarital sex, premarital cohabitation, and
the risk of subsequent marital dissolution among women,” Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 2003,
444-455٫
45٫ Personal communication.
46٫ Personal communication.
47٫ I’m indebted for the first seven of these “rewards of
waiting” to Kristine Napier’s book, The
power of abstinence(New York: Avon, 1996).
48٫ Thanks to Dr. Janet Smith for this point.
49٫ Mary-Louise Kurey, Standing with
courage. (Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., 2002).
